This past Tuesday, the 9th of September 2009 James Proestos kissed me in his car outside the Lancaster Mall Movie Theater. We sat there, our forheads pressed together, then ours noses touching for a minuet, my heart beating fast, my tounge licking my lips, hopeing that he would kiss me. I was surprised when he did, and even more surprised when he didn't stop. Jamie just kept kissing me, and kissing me. There were no second thoughts on my side, no worries. I was able to give myself over to the kiss for the most part. I was distracted by the people outside the car, but that was not really all that bad.
We saw the movie Extract, and it was funny. He cuddled me the entire time, kissed on my face, and was a joy to be around.
It took us forever to get out of the parking lot, to say good bye, to actually let the other go. I adore how tender and sweet he is, how obvious his desire for me.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Beach trip
I had a great time at the beach with Erin, Matt, and Jamie. There is still some tension between Matt and Erin, and I've no idea where that will go. But he is a good guy, and I hope that I'm right in trusting him to do the right thing, I really think I am.
Jamie.
Jamie is so wonderful. He is really silly, and yet he is so able to be serious when I ask. I love how he lightens the mood of nearly any situation. He doesn't bother taking offense at the small things, and yet he tells me about not trusting friends who have done things like leave him at the air port and what not. He just seems like a very together sort of guy. And he doesn't seem to that -I- have it together. He knows that I'm broken, and is more then fine with it.
It is very comforting.
I'm also doing my best to resist kissing him. There have been a few times that it has been hard for me. But today, when we were alone in the car saying good bye he held me very tight or caressed my leg, never more then a few inches above the knee. But then he started to nussle my neck. I already knew from the night that Erin, Matt, Jamie, and I drove around that he could excite me with hardly any touch. I had no idea that he could get me so excited by just nussleing my neck, through my hair, and the thick neck of my sweater. Goddess be good. If I was not restraining myself I would have kissed him, would have crawled into his lap.
The way he touches me just seems so sweet and natural. Jamie doesn't second guess his actions, his instincts. He acts without worry, giving himself over completely to each caress. I can see myself in his arms, I can feel myself willingly submitting to his hands, and I want time to fly. I am taking it slow, so very slow. I have just started to give little pecks to her neck, just a small scattering, or to breath on his ear. But it is so worth it, so very very worth it.
Jamie.
Jamie is so wonderful. He is really silly, and yet he is so able to be serious when I ask. I love how he lightens the mood of nearly any situation. He doesn't bother taking offense at the small things, and yet he tells me about not trusting friends who have done things like leave him at the air port and what not. He just seems like a very together sort of guy. And he doesn't seem to that -I- have it together. He knows that I'm broken, and is more then fine with it.
It is very comforting.
I'm also doing my best to resist kissing him. There have been a few times that it has been hard for me. But today, when we were alone in the car saying good bye he held me very tight or caressed my leg, never more then a few inches above the knee. But then he started to nussle my neck. I already knew from the night that Erin, Matt, Jamie, and I drove around that he could excite me with hardly any touch. I had no idea that he could get me so excited by just nussleing my neck, through my hair, and the thick neck of my sweater. Goddess be good. If I was not restraining myself I would have kissed him, would have crawled into his lap.
The way he touches me just seems so sweet and natural. Jamie doesn't second guess his actions, his instincts. He acts without worry, giving himself over completely to each caress. I can see myself in his arms, I can feel myself willingly submitting to his hands, and I want time to fly. I am taking it slow, so very slow. I have just started to give little pecks to her neck, just a small scattering, or to breath on his ear. But it is so worth it, so very very worth it.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
HindSight is 20/20
I didn't want to admit that I was wrong, that you were wrong, that in the end I was more afraid of being alone then anything else. I shouldn't have kissed you. I said it was time to get out of the car, and I should have just got out. But I wanted to fall in love.
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