Transition

Transitioning is hard. Justin has made a choice for him, and I'm not sure where that leaves me. Why couldn't he have just moved to Seattle? But then again I wouldn't unmeet him. But being left is hard, even when you're told none of it is your fault.

I've talked about it a lot. And I'm not sure if I should sit around and feel bad for myself, or if I should just get on with my life. We were not even together for a full two months. But it was the best seven weeks of my life, or near enough to that there is no difference.

Jimbo is flirting with me again. I am fucking surrounded by 'J' names. And there is a part of me that is excited, that would not mind if something happened there. But there is another part of me that really wants Justin to tell me he fucked up.

I feel sick. I don't want to eat, and it is hard to sleep. My mind keeps taking me back to things that cannot make me happy right now. The memory of his smile, how soft his skin is, and how happy I was with him.

I hope that Jim understands that I'm more then a bit broken right now.